Childhood trauma is a painful experience that can affect us for the rest of our lives. When these wounds go unhealed, they can be passed down from one generation to the next, creating a cycle of pain and dysfunction in families. This is known as generational trauma. In this blog, we’ll talk about what generational trauma is and offer ideas on how individuals and families can break free from its destructive grip.
Common Causes of Generational Trauma
Generational trauma can come from many different sources, such as:
War or violence
Poverty and lack of opportunity
Addiction or substance abuse
Racism or discrimination
Childhood abuse or neglect
Domestic violence
When individuals who have gone through such traumas become parents, they inadvertently pass on unhealthy coping mechanisms or behaviors to their children, thus, continuing the cycle unless something is done to stop it.
How to Break the Cycle
Recognize the Trauma: The first step in breaking generational trauma is recognizing that it exists. Acknowledging the pain and dysfunction in the family is crucial. Sometimes, just talking openly with family members about shared experiences can help everyone see how trauma has affected them.
Break the Silence: In many families dealing with trauma, there’s a culture of silence. People avoid talking about painful events, and this silence keeps the trauma alive. However, opening up and sharing stories can allow family members to start to process their pain and feel heard and understood. This can be a very healing step.
Reparent Yourself: Sometimes, healing means reparenting yourself. If you grew up in a home where unhealthy behaviors were normal, you may need to learn how to care for yourself in healthier ways. Therapy can help you understand your behaviors and thought patterns, and it
can give you the tools to create better habits for your emotional and mental well-being.
Create New Patterns: If you want to break the cycle of trauma, create new patterns for how you raise your children or interact with others. This might mean setting boundaries, learning how to communicate better, or seeking therapy for unresolved issues. Building a healthier future requires effort and consistency, but it’s possible.
A Powerful Story of Healing
If you’re looking for a real-life example of how trauma can be passed down and how one family broke the cycle, check out Rotten Fruit is Falling Down: Because I Shake the Tree by Erin Arvizu. In 2021, Erin’s child revealed a shocking case of sexual abuse within the family. This revelation set off a wave of courage, as other family members came forward with similar stories. Erin’s journey to seek justice for her child and the other victims is a gripping and emotional story of resilience, survival, and transformation. The book shines a light on how silence and trauma can keep hurting families and how one person’s courage can start to heal generations of pain.
Erin’s story shows how breaking the silence and seeking justice can change the course of a family’s history. If you want to understand the power of confronting generational trauma, Rotten Fruit is Falling Down is a must-read.